I'm bad..... I'm Nationwide

I know I promised to post on the American adventure in greater detail, but I've not worked up the motivation to sit down and write some of it out. I got the photos back. The big yin had them on her card. We filled a 1Gb card with photos and videos, and it wasn't until I got back that I discovered that I only have 11Gb on my laptop. So need to get one of these external hard drives. I may post some if I can A) Be bothered or B) Figure out why my laptop says it's uploading pictures and then doesn't. (I can only seem to upload them at work, where I don't really have time to be fannying around with such things.)

I've kinda been struggling for things to write over the last week or so. I start a post, and then think better of it. (Like my response to Mr Bush's remarks in Europe last week) and I end up deleting it (I really didn't fancy a housecall from the CIA).

I did however gain inspiration from EightK to work on a things I love about this country and this city type post. I think it's a brilliant idea for everybody to do as it really makes you think about your place in your home and your country, and inevitably, the world as a whole. It's so much fun to live someone elses life for a while, put on the shades, get in the big car and bomb down the sunny freeways, but at some point you gotta come back to the rain, and the hills and the old world.

I'll be back soon, maybe......

A Spoonful of Sugar...

Suffice it to say, I have withdrawal symptoms. Less than a month. I have to hang my head in shame.
Damn Reese's Cups. I used to get them sent over by a relative in Canada when I was younger, but not any more. You can get em here, but you have to go hunting for them. Ahh Well.
Plus my throat is really sore? I have a shocking track record when it comes to throat infections. I had an inkling of a sore throat on holiday, and I bought these Cepacol lozenges over there. Normally I don't buy lozenges as they seem to have no effect on me, but these lozenges have so much benzocaine in them that just having one in your hand for 10 seconds leaves your fingers numb and tingling! I'm really glad that I brought some home as they've single handedly got me through the day! I take it the lozenge manufacturers here aren't allowed to put that high a dose in theirs....

I was at the Big Yin's brother's stag do at the weekend. We began by partaking in the tribal ritual that is paintballing. I had heard stories that the paintballs hurt like hell when they hit, so I was pleasantly surprised when I found that it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I thought, and I was actually quite good at it. The stag can testify, as he was hit by me several times, much to his annoyance. During the last game, having run out of ammo, and waiting it out behind a barrel, I started thinking about how relitavely unscathed I was, and at that moment, someone from the other team bombed round the barrels in a sort of Kamikaze/Rambo run and shot me in the arm at point blank range.
Now these things come out of the guns propelled by compressed Carbon Dioxide at 100 miles an hour, and fired at you from 2 feet or less away, I shall just say it smarted. Anyway, I'm treating the rather large blue and yellow bruise that has engulfed my entire upper arm as a badge of honour.

It was a great day, we all had a good laugh, and a fair few sherbets were downed at the end of night pub crawl in Edinburgh, that included a visit to the Stand comedy club, where stand ups were top class. If only I weren't suffering for it quite as much now....

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!

Well, I was kicking myself when I entered the big yin's world cup sweep at work a week ago.(why the big yin set up a world cup sweep, I'll never know, as she hates football something rotten??) You paid your 2 quid and then picked out a scrunched up piece of paper from a plastic cup with the name of your team written on it. If that team wins the World Cup, then you win the overall pot of money collected. Anyway, the name of the team on the piece of paper made me wince. Saudi frikkin Arabia. The same Saudi Arabia that started their last World Cup campaign with an encouraging 8-0 defeat at the hands of Germany. Not deterred and keeping in mind that there were still a few good sides yet to be claimed, I chucked another £2 in and held my breath. Come on....be Germany, or Brazil, I'd even be happy with Croatia??!

Australia.

The nation who haven't qualified since 1974, and who have NEVER even scored a goal in the World Cup finals. Jeez, I'd rather have been mugged my £4 than get Australia and Saudi Arabia.

But in todays first game with Australia and Japan, I decided that the Aussies were gonna be my team of the tournament. I'm gonna get behind them 100%. They're newbies at this level and in my book that makes them infinately supportable. (And the English hate them, which is another reason to heartily support them, if another was needed.) Well, after 80 minutes of a tight game, the Japanese were 1-0 up, and their stuffy defence looked like it was going to hold out, until Everton's Australian midfielder Tim Cahill was introduced, and he got 2 smashing goals in the last ten minutes, and the turnaround was complete when John Aloisi sneaked through to finish empahatically. A first victory 3-1. Maybe my money was not wasted after all, and I've found a new allegiance!

I don't think I realised until this kicked off how much I wanted Scotland to be a part of it all. We never do well when we get there, and we've never been past the first round, fate continues to conspire against us, and we always go out by one goal on goal difference, or we need to draw and we lose, or we beat Holland convincingly, then lose to Peru, and draw with Iran, but amid all the many disappointments, we're still there. We get to join in the party, even if we know deep down that we're just there to make up the numbers. It's never more difficult than looking in the window at all the fun, knowing the door is bolted tight. I told myself that I'd be able to enjoy the tournament more not being preoccupied with how we were doing, but it's just not the case. It's been too long since we've been there and I really miss the buzz it brings to everyone around. We can only hope for next time....

La Coupe Du Monde Est Arivee!

Well, what a couple of days for world football. The big one is here! The first game was a corker. Germany have been in freefall over the last few years, so their meeting with Costa Rica was not going to be the cakewalk it might have been for German teams of the past. This game was a cracker though. 4-2 to Germany, with the hosts scoring 2 goals that will undoubtedly go down as contenders for the goal of the tournament. I went to watch it over at my sisters and her boyfriends. He was bouncing up and down like a kid with the excitement, but a few beers calmed him down. All in all, yesterday was a great day. Saw 2 games. Even the turgid Poland v Ecuador clash wasn't enough to dampen our spirits, Marky was miffed as Polish goalkeeper Artur Boruc and striker Macej Zurawski who play for his beloved Celtic had a pretty awful game, (there was no way the commentator was even going to consider giving him his adopted Scottish moniker 'Magic' Zurawski. He was more 'Mince' Zurawski.) Ecuador coasted to a comfortable 2-0 win. The night was rounded off with us having a turn at beating the crap out of each other at Rocky on the Gamecube. It was class, and there were a few moments when I laughed so hard and long that I forgot why I was laughing, but couldn't stop. Poor Fraser took the beating of his life. Particularly when he chose to go Apollo Creed, so I logically selected Ivan Drago, saying things like "I'm sooo gonna kill you" while not knowing how the hell to play the thing. I realised I'd made a wise choice when after 3 punches I had knocked him out cold. There was much hilarity at his hissy fit and swearing afterwards.

P.S. I have not allowed our darling neighbours jammy victory against Paraguay in today's lunchtime fixture to tarnish my day at all. I'm resigned to the fact that they're gonna get through the first round, but pretty confident that they'll fold under the pressure of better opposition in the latter stages. I hope......

Four Horsemen Of The You Know What

Well, all I can say is this. What a crap day I had. 666 it was. There's nothing more demoralising than a crap day at work. And of course, tomorrow is my first job flying solo so I'm slightly nervous, and should probably be getting a decent sleep rather than sitting up writing nonsense, but no one's perfect. And to add to the gloom, it was such a nice day today. The sun was splittin the bricks and I was stuck inside. I reckon I just got a really bad case of the post holiday blues. I should cheer up though, as the World Cup starts on Friday, and I got a day off! Plus I gotta get ready for the big yin's brothers wedding. Gotta get doon the kilt hire shop at the weekend to have a hope in hell of getting the one in the tartan I want. I really should buy a kilt, especially as me and the boys are thinking about joining the Scotland supporters club, and that would mean possibly a wee trip to the away games in Paris or Milan next year, or even the Faroe Isles if we're feeling adventurous. Think we'll give Georgia, Lithuania and Ukraine a bodyswerve though this time. Thing is the kilt itself would be fine for Scotland duty, but if I wanted it for weddings and occasions then I'd have to get the Charlie jacket and the bow tie/cravatte and the socks and the brogues and a sgian dubh and it'll end up costin me more than I have. Oh well.... I suppose once you got it you got it!
Well, I'm away to try and get some kip!

Would You Like Fries With That??

Well, That's me back from the states! I had a really good time, and I'm sure I shall post at greater length on the subject in time. But for now I'm going to note a few thoughts I had about the similarities and differences I found amusing/annoying between the Americans and ourselves.

Firstly language. It's often said that we are two countries seperated by a common langauge, and in some cases it's very true. What screwed me up most was the slightly different uses of words describing food. Particularly fast food. I couldn't resist being a gut bucket over there!! In Scotland, we call chipped fried pototoes (the ones you get in McDonalds) Chips. In USA, they're Fries. In USA, Chips are what we call Crisps. (The kind you get in small bags in flavours like Salt and Vinegar). You can see how that would screw a guy up! I ordered a hot dog and chips, expecting to get a hot dog and 'fries' and all I got was a lousy packet of crisps!!
And what we would call a biscuit ie. a small crumbly snack sometimes covered in chocolate, the Americans call a cookie. Now we all know this and it wasn't annoying, nor did it cause me any hardship whatsoever, but it amused me as what the Americans call a biscuit is what we call a scone (pronounced scon for any Americans reading this) and a scone is most often eaten here with butter and jam (jelly USA) and clotted cream and enjoyed with tea, but they eat it with fried chicken and cover it with gravy. What's that all about?!
I did like the service you got in restaurants and diners. It was top class. I got a real shock when I was asked how I would like my eggs, as here you get told what kind of eggs you're getting, like they're either fried or scrambled but there they ask you how you like them and you can get them fried hard or runny scrambled boiled, whatever. Well cool. If you asked for them done a different way here you'd get a slap.

I have to say, the Americans are sooooooo polite. it was quite humbling actually. There was a lot of sincerity there. I don't think I met one single sullen individual the whole time I was there. This was a really pleasant surprise to me. I have to admit, I've read a lot of American news and current affairs since 2000 and I was expecting either Loonyland or Mordor, but that's obviously limited to Tallahassee and the administrative centres of each of the republican states. (Where do you dig up these politicians?).The people on the streets were warm and welcoming, and I'd like to thank them for that.

The weather was glorious. But I'm glad we left before the start of Hurricane season!

Why do Americans drive such big cars? I got into the car rental place and the guy said, 'now, you've booked an economy car, it's tiny'. I said yeah. That's fine with me. He said 'are you sure you don't want something bigger, I've had cancelletions for this week. I just want you to have the best possible time here..' I was quite worried about driving over there anyway, as I've never driven an automatic before, we just don't get them here, and I drive a sporty supermini on a daily basis (smaller than the economy car) and that's not to mention driving on the other side of the road. So I was delighted with the economy car. Plus I was amused at the thought that the size of car I had would somehow have an effect on how much enjoyment I got out of my holiday? Anyway, he just couldn't help himself, and he gave me this big bloody Chrysler Sebring thing, which was like driving an oil tanker, and carried just about as much petrol (gas USA). Any way, I thought my car was big. as soon as I got out on the road, I realised I was in toytown. It was like being in an austin mini in the middle of a monster truck rally. No wonder the USA is responsible for 75% of the worlds carbon emissions! And as for talking about 'pain at the pumps' they wanna see what we have to pay for gasoline. It was $2.70 per gallon. That's about £1.50 roughly. Now, there's just under 4 metric litres in an American gallon, and we pay 94.9 pence per litre so for an American gallon, we pay nearly £4 which is roughly equivalent to $7.40! They do travel over longer distances than us, in their defence.

All in all though. We had a thouroghly enjoyable time, and I'll no doubt post more in the future!